Probably, every parent’s desire is to raise a child who will be an independent and successful person with a strong character in the future. However, many times parents fail to accomplish this and they start to ask themselves why this happened.
The reason behind the failure to raise a person with a strong character can sometimes be one simple innocent phrase which affected the child’s psyche. Therefore, when you speak with your children pick your words wisely and do not take this for granted.
These are 5 phrases that you have to avoid:
“WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I WAS AN EXCELLENT STUDENT”
To every child, parents are the people who know the answer to everything. The parents are the ones who form the child’s relationship with the world around him/her, and his/her relationship with himself/herself. If you say this phrase, or a similar one, your child may be prone to competitiveness. Moreover, children who have been hearing this phrase throughout their childhood, spend their entire lives trying to prove something to their families. On one hand, this may be a good thing, but in this case the child is trying to accomplish something for mommy and daddy not for himself/herself. Moreover, they do this in order to make their parents see that their child has value. However, these persons practically never enjoy their successes.
“I DO NOT LOVE YOU WHEN YOU ARE BAD”
After saying something like this, the child may try to improve his/her behavior. However, while doing this, he/she pushes away all her/his needs and wishes, and tries to achieve others’ expectations. Moreover, parents may enjoy such attitude, but ultimately the child’s identity remains hidden. What’s more, when they grow up, they try to please everyone else besides themselves and they live with the knowledge that in order to be loved, they must do what others want them to do.
“YOUR FRIEND HAS AN A, WHEREAS YOU HAVE A B”
Parents always want what is the best. However, these comparisons are a painful experience and this is something that remains in the child’s life as he/she grows up. Moreover, these persons tend to compare themselves with others, but not in their benefit. Therefore, avoid this phrase since it will not make the child better but it will only worsen his self confidence.
“STOP EMBARASSING ME”
Due to this phrase, and similar ones, children may develop a complex. Moreover, he/she will think that what is a shame for their parents is a shame for others as well. Children love attention, but do not know what to do with it. Furthermore, they will hide, close up and become lost.
“I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU NOR HEAR FROM YOU”
Children, who often hear this phrase, live with a sense of guilt in front of their parents, because of something that is preventing them from leading a good life.
All in all, avoid these phrases altogether and practice expressing love to your children and always tell them how proud you are of them.