A lot of parents are trapped between the perfect parenthood which they have always imagined and the reality which often times catches them unprepared, according to Focus. So, in a lot of situations they say things to their children which they never imagined saying.
Do not cry
This one, and similar variations such as: ‘Do not be a baby’, ‘do not be scared’, etc. actually send a message to the child that their emotions do not matter and that you do not understand them. Although it is completely natural for a parent to protect their child from negative feelings, this is not the right way to do that.
Leave me alone
Almost every parent in the world needs a small pause from their children, but only few will admit this. The problem arises when avoiding the child becomes a routine. Statements such as: ‘Do not bother me’ or ‘leave me alone’ can push your child away, trouble their self- confidence and with time, they may feel as if they cannot talk to you since you are always busy.
Be quicker or you will stay alone
Although almost every parent’s day is busy, you should never say to your child to be quicker, for example, when you are standing and waiting for him/her to put on shoes, since you will only create a feeling of guilt and the opposite effect only.
I will give you a reason for crying
Threats are a result from parent frustrations, but are not efficient at all. If you use such or similar threats or you “blackmail” the child by saying: “If you do not do this, I will…” you will soon have to realize your threat or it will lose its power.
How can you not do this?! It is so easy
What is easy to you may not be easy for your child. If you consider that there is an easier way for the child to learn something for school then show them rather than ask questions which will only make the child more nervous.
Look how your brother/sister is still
Encouraging rivalry among brothers and sisters, comparisons and similar types of communication are completely unacceptable and probably most parents become aware of this right after uttering such phrases. Every child is different and you need to look at them uniquely, without comparing them to anyone else.
Just wait until mommy/daddy comes
In order to be efficient you must know how to act in the spur of the moment and on your own, without putting mommy/daddy in the position of the bad cop. Besides showing helplessness, waiting for a punishment may only prolong the child’s agony. Moreover, you have also undermined your own authority as a parent.